Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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