piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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