I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
whose parrot is this?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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