Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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(703): View more from Virginia

Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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(559): View more from California

he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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(239): View more from Florida

MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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(+33): View more from France

Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar

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(815): View more from Illinois

Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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(904): View more from Florida

You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying

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