Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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