so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
