Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
