grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
