that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
