So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
