How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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