Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
