Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
