Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
