my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
