Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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