dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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