OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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