he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
