i love accidental penises.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
