fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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