you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
