I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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