eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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