Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
