I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
