just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
