He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Vodka?
Forever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
