drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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