I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
