You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize