He had one of those small greek statue penises
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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