i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
