That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i believe in u and ur pee
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
