just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
