Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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