Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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