Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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