Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am available for nakedness
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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