i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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