tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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