I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
