your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she peed on how many people?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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