dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
