the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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