sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
