your room smells of hookers.
And success
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
