Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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