He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
