You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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