and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
