Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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