"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
