It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize