Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
