hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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