i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
