Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
